The mystical waters of my life flow deep, both internally and externally. Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha (1656-1680), the “Native American” woman—affectionately known in my neck of the woods as the Lily of the Mohawks, lived just 4 miles from my home. She will be canonized as a Saint this coming October. This area in which she lived, along with the North American Martyrs, is considered to be very sacred. The Shrine of the North American Martyrs, with its massive “Coliseum” and adjoining grounds, has always been a place of spiritual refuge and comfort. There are accounts by many who have experienced a strange and glowing “blue-flame-light” appearing at dusk, gently hovering through the deep ravine that contains the remains of the martyrs. Along with Kateri, Hildegard of Bingen—the 12th century Rhineland, Abbess, musician-composer and visionary Mystic—was recognized formally as a Saint earlier this year by Pope Benedict XVI and will be declared a “Doctor of the Church” this coming October; this will be an honorary title she will share with such Saints like John of the Cross and Saint Teresa of Avila—the great Carmelite Mystics. Over the years I have sensed Kateri’s presence while contemplating and walking through those sacred grounds in Auriesville and have also experienced some mystic revelations while meditating along with Hildegard’s rich and vibrant polyphonic music.

Along with my mystical-spiritual and creative development, I had come to realize that spirit is not confined to any exclusive formalization or set-in-stone parameters that prohibit the many and diverse ways in which it is constantly revealing itself. During the early 1990’s a priest-buddy of mine (who left the priesthood to get married back in 1997) and myself began to study an interesting book called, “Meditations on the Tarot”, which is a fascinating study of the spiritual-significance of the Major Arcana of the Tarot; interestingly, this particular book is looked upon favorably by theologians within the sphere of the Vatican itself. An eclectic work, it helped to foster my own eclecticism in spiritual matters. In 1999, while surfing the net still operating under Windows 95, I came across a most unusual sounding website entitled, “Dark Zen”. It was dark-looking in stature with a funny-looking “White-figure” in the left-hand plane (Bodhidharma perhaps?) I had recently become interested in Zen Buddhism, in particular with a work entitled “Zen Catholicism” as well as Thomas Merton’s writings like “Zen and the Birds of Appetite.” This Dark-Zen thing sounded rather odd. What was it? Could it be some kind of people involved in the dark arts—Satanists under the guise of some weird kind of Zen? After going back to it after a while I realized that, rather than being something dark and evil, it was somehow akin to my own interest in the apophatic mysticism of John of the Cross and his Dark Night; although, its originator, someone named Zenmar, assured me to be careful of that because pure apophaticism actually goes through the motions of “negating twice”—meaning that since all was “sunya” to begin with, why attempt to negate what is already negated? After some time, I began to become intrigued with Dark Zen, with Zenmar and his foremost Dharma-student, Tozen.

Throughout late 1999 and going into 2000, it was becoming apparent that some kind of schism was occurring between Zenmar and Tozen. While both shared the same kind of Mystical-Lankanian (Lankavatara Sutra) foundation, they each emphasized differing nuances and methodologies. So, Tozen, along with those dharma-students who resonated with his teachings (myself included) formed a parallel school on Yahoo named, TheUnbornMind-Zen school of the Unborn Mind (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheUnbornMind/?yguid=223571710) . It needs to be stressed at this point that the whole basis for an “alternative zen” understanding, one that radiates with the earliest records of the Lanka (Such as the texts found at Tun-huang in the early 20th century [ref: The Bodhidharma Anthology and Zen Dawn: Early Zen Texts from Tun huang] really has its roots and driving force with the presence of “The Zennist” (http://zennist.typepad.com/), formerly Zenmar. His tireless and ongoing resolve to make the Buddhist/Zen world aware that there is indeed an alternative understanding out there that contrasts itself sharply with the predominate and “materialistic-milieu” notions of Buddhism, along with the over-emphasized stranglehold that institutions like Soto Zen—with its incessant focus on Dogenism (zazen—sitting zen). His Zen, like Tozen’s, emphasizes the authentic mystic-spiritual side (Buddha-gnosis) of the equation that has been hidden, sorely neglected, and oftentimes ridiculed throughout the millennia.

Over the years, the Tozen-teachings in particular, have enlightened and enlivened my spirit. Suffice [at this point] to say that my inner-spiritual-life-spirit is now Lankavatarian. In light of this, my path reflects the teachings of the ancient Taoists who stated that one ought to embrace familial and social commitments (like my own embrace of the duties of the exoteric church) when they are young, but that when they reach middle-age and beyond (I’m now retired at 55 due to ongoing health issues) the “inner-path” (or inner-light) needs to become the primary focus. Having discovered the True Light of the Buddhadharma, one would be a fool not to refine it…refine it by holistically [body-mind-spirit] developing the hidden elixir within (the Primordial Bodhi-seed) which is its true Essence that is reflected in the new Spiritual Maturity of a Bodhisattva—One in Nirvanic Union with the Dharmakaya. It is the development of this Bodhichild, even within this present lifetime, that will be able to transcend the swift moving currents of karma in all the realms of the Bardo.

Tags: Hildegard of Bingen, Kateri Tekakwitha, Mediations on the Tarot, The Zennist, Tozen

Bardo One (Birth, Life & Death): Part 1

Opening Homage:

It is customary to begin such a work with a salutation in high honor with what is commonly known as the Trikaya, or the three bodies of the Buddha. Traditionally they are referred to as the Dharmakaya (Absolute body), the Sambhogakaya (Visionary body), and the Nirmanakaya (transformation [oftentimes carnal] body). However from the unique position of the Lankavatarian perspective, these have been finely tuned with added nuances:

Homage to the Unoriginated Dharmakaya: Absolute Truth Body; the wordless Teaching, Buddhadharma: Inner-Promulgation of the Truth Body; the Self-aware Mystical-Spiritual Power (Body of Tathagata) embodying the Truth as a Movement of Pure-Mind Revelation: Bodhikaya

When we were born into this present lifespan, essentially the death process was initiated. We die little by little each day; in this sense we were and are “born” to “die”. This apparent desire realm (the human notch on the rope of the six rings of rebirth) can oftentimes ruthlessly reveal the transiency behind unfolding imagery that can frustrate the awareness apparatus that innately seeks re-unification with the dharmatā—or the inner-luminative-essence that is freed from the chains of all forms of perception. What happens though in Bardo Realm One, the dharmatā becomes ordinary dharmas—an endless array of passing imagery (phenomena) until it becomes transformed into its luminative-self again in the Bardo of dharmatā. Experience (within Bardo Realm One) becomes the channel through which the awareness apparatus is primed into one day extraordinarily perceiving (through the power of bodhi) its rightful and primordial position as awareness principle; this can be analogously depicted as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, undertaking all kinds of experiences and trials and tribulations along the journey down the yellow brick road before awakening from the dream (which can also parallel the individuation that occurs in the Bardo of Dreams) and returning to her true primordial home.

Self-Actualization through Generative Agencies

In this Bardo Realm of Birth, Life and Re-Death (indeed, reaching a new omega point that actualizes as re-constituting the field of elementals that concretize into material-forms) the awareness apparatus=the human person, (the collection of the aggregated skandhic elements) or the generative agency through which the awareness principle begins to mediate (through a succession of transitional events) its Recollective journey homewards to the Element of Truth (Dharmadhatu). In this sense, the human agency analogously functions like the meditational deities (e.g., the five Primordial Buddhas) we will encounter in the Bardo Realm of Meditation and Deep Samadhi. What follows next is this “chronological” Recollective process through the generative agency of this writer…

From whatever past karmic alliances and associations, my spirit (and its awareness apparatus) this go-round was somehow aligned to be a priest. In point of fact, being a priest and having an interest in Zen Buddhism is not an anomaly: witness the life of Trappist Monk and priest, Thomas Merton; or the fine scholars of Buddhology like Fr. Etienne Lamotte and Heinrich Dumoulin, S.J. Firstly, the one common question that always pops into people’s minds is, “Why did you become a priest?” Actually, the question didn’t even occur to me until I started out on a personal odyssey at the age of 21—way back in the late spring of 1979, when I moved to South Florida from the Northeast on a whim with a friend. It was during that time of new beginnings, in the strange and exotic setting of South Florida that my inner-self (dormant bodhi seed) truly began to awaken; in particular with the sense of inner-hearing (Dhammasota’s soundless sound in Buddhism). Within traditional Catholicism, it’s customary that someone needs to experience some form of divine “calling” from God before becoming a priest. The calling occurred to me one sultry summer afternoon in the form of a book that somehow popped out at me on a shelf of books I was perusing in college. The book’s title was, “The Dark Night of the Soul”, by St. John of the Cross. St. John of the Cross is one of the church’s greatest mystics, and his apophatic theology of the “via negativa”—nada, nada, nada, nothing else but the indwelling presence of God, which is like a darkness to the senses—truly enraptured my spirit. It was like the mystic flavor of these pages opened a new chapter in my life as I became more aware of the “inner-needs” of others, (Karunic bodhicitta) and no longer focusing on myself alone. Being the young, idealistic 21 year-old that I was at the time, this Carmelite Saint seemed to be beckoning me to pursue the religious life—and so, what better way than to serve God as a priest. I did some inquiring and contemplating for the next three years and afterwards returned home to the Northeast and entered seminary in the fall of the early 1980′s.

My seminary years for the Diocesan Priesthood were full of much idealistic vigor and determination to become formed into a good priest. Those years also offered me the opportunity to share some of my creative talent as a violinist; so from time to time would accompany another seminarian (a pianist), and one of the priest-professors (also a violinist) to various homes in the area, wherein we would indulge in a healthy dose of Bach—in particular his Double Concerto for Two Violins in D Minor.

My deacon year (the year before being ordained a priest) was spent in a parish in upstate NY. It was a most unusual year; it was 1987—the year considered to be that of the Harmonic Convergence. Some people in the parish were involved in Clown Ministry, and so they asked me if I could involve them in some way in the parish. So, I intuitively came up with a script that involved using clowns during Lent in a presentation of the Stations of the Cross—it was called, “The Stations of the Cross in the Company of Clowns”. Now, this was unheard of—using “Clowns” in such a somber setting as the Stations of the Cross??? But, it worked! It was very reverently done—something along the lines of an Emmitt Kelly clown character, a down and out fellow whose life becomes transformed as “a spirit” appears to him with a lighted candleabra and leads him through the stations in the darkened church. Well, this initial presentation began with 4 people—three clowns and the spirit—but, over the years it has developed into a full-fledged ministry, involving mimes as well as clowns, and incorporates people of all ages and temperaments—it’s now in its 26th year! I had long stepped back from the ministry, but a community of people themselves—known as The Clown Ministry Associates, formed from all these amazing people over the years—has kept this presentation alive and vibrant as they journey from church to church throughout the season of Lent.

Priesthood during the 1990’s

During the 1990’s, my creative-side flourished immensely. I wrote and produced a mini-musical involving the clown ministry entitled, “The Waiting”—a little story about the real meaning of the season of Advent. Also I wrote a major musical endeavor entitled “A Clown in Harlequin’s Court,” whose inspiration was based on the struggle of catholic women religious at the time to have a greater voice in the life of the church. I’m an advocate for women priests, which in the present state of affairs within Catholicism is not acceptable; the musical, written in 1996, takes place during the High Middle-Ages and has as its foundation a historical actuality: the cathedrals were the major center of religious devotion and practice—vast throngs of people were packed inside to hear the Word of God proclaimed, and so there was an overflow of people and many had to stand outside, not having the opportunity of hearing the Word proclaimed. Outside the cathedral, actors—in the guise of Harlequins and various assorted mimes, would literally “act-out” the action of the gospel being proclaimed inside, empowering the crowds on the outside to also benefit from the action happening inside. The musical takes as its theme this backdrop and grows into a drama between two groups of protagonists—the Harlequins who have the “divine status” of proclaiming the Word of God in this fashion…and the Clowns—the newcomers on the block who want to get-in on the act! The main characters are a male Harlequin—the leader of the Harlequins…and a female clown—whose desire to be able to proclaim God’s word, too, becomes the champion of the downtrodden clowns. Never was able to put this play into production during the ‘90’s…but with the advent of new music technology and time spent with a buddy of mine who co-wrote the music, we were able to get this play into production in the summer of 2007; we actually got two parish communities involved since this was a major-size cast and the three-hour production was a major hit of the summer!

Being an associate priest assigned to a parish proved to be a most challenging enterprise. Long gone was the youthful, idealistic, spirit of that young seminarian as the reality of life in the RC Church began to sink in. Let me preface the following by saying that this is not meant to ridicule or demean the religious practices of Catholics, but that for “my own spiritual development and evolution”, these practices fall far short of the inner-journey of self-transformation; by and large the catholic faithful are content with just the rudimentary trappings (exoteric) of any form of spirituality—e.g., daily mass-attendees praying the rosary, wherein the mournful-droning refrain… “To you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears!”… essentially becomes the hallmark for many of what this life is about—just getting by day by day and hoping for the best since one’s life is primarily dirt—indeed, the refrain during the distribution of ashes on Ash Wednesday is, “Remember you are dust and unto dust you shall return.” The other option for the priest to say on Ash Wednesday is, “Turn away from sin and believe the good news…or simply, repent and believe the good news.” Essentially, sin means separation—in essence, separation from our divine union with the godhead; even from the early days with John of the Cross, I’ve always been led to focus on, what I consider to be a crucial component of faith—union with the Divine Will and Spirit. What the major religions are steeped in is Duality—and herein always lay my ongoing frustration. Truthfully, it’s been a struggle never being on the same page as the general catholic populace, one that basically stays with the formalized—outward (exoteric)—trappings of Catholicism while the inward-journey is never even remotely considered; have always preached from time to time on the need for inner-transformation—for union—but , sadly, to no avail as this experience is always superseded by exclusive outer and materialistic demands…TBC

Tags: Bardo, Dark Night of the Soul, dharmadhatu, Element of Truth, John of the Cross, Recollective Process

Perhaps the greatest words that were bestowed upon me during this go-round of the diurnal spin of samsara came from my maternal grandfather: “I seldom weep at funerals, but I always find myself shedding a tear when a baby is born into this world.” His words of wisdom did not originate from some deep immersion into the epistemological bowels of some eastern-esoteric philosophy, but rather from a simple (he was a Christian Fundamentalist) observation that birth into this world is delivery into the realm of some form of suffering. It’s an innate understanding. An understanding deeply ingrained into a psyche that has perhaps endured eons upon eons of life, death, and rebirth; in essence, being stuck on the karmic spin of what the Tibetan Buddhists refer to as the Wheel of Life. Like its Tibetan counterpart, the Lankavatarian Book of the Dead is an expedient vehicle that attempts to map the territory of what this psychic-journey entails, i.e., mastering the Bardo Pathways that lead to the beginning of liberation from samsaric incarceration, or, if all else fails, at least some direction and insight that will lead to a favorable rebirth—like that of a non-returner, an awareness that is indelibly linked with the imprint of immeasurable nirvanic satisfaction in the clear-light of boundless Dharmakayic ecstasy.

As stated in the previous blog entry, life is just one big “Bardo Experience”—an endless repetition of “in-between states” that revolve around the True Body of Reality, the Dharmakaya, like planetoids orbiting around their primordial origin. There are six bardo-states: the bardo of birth and life; the bardo of the dream realm; the bardo of meditation and deep Samadhi; the bardo of first tasting death; the bardo of the dharmatā and Dharmata Buddha and the bardo of re-becoming, or rebirth. The Lankavatarian Book of the Dead is a systematic overview of these bardo-states; the first three are really invitations within this lifespan to carefully discern and better prepare for the latter three which basically determines whether or not the awareness principle recognizes and attunes (strengthening its Diamond body) to its Primordial Stature, or decides to spin the karmic dice once again. The latter three are especially bracketed by the undivided Spirit of Bodhi, whose Liberative Technique heightens the awareness principle into discerning the Clear Light of Dharmakayic dominance on the terrain of imagelessness, before receding once again into the phantasmagorical maze of Re-becoming.

It needs to be stressed from the outset that this attempt is an endeavor shared from the lens of the Lankavatarian perspective and in no way attempts to supersede its Tibetan cousin. To lend an air of further authenticity, the first bardo realm—the bardo of birth and life—will be shared through the singular life-experience of this author, one that recollects the long and winding road to the Unborn and beyond. Blog entries pertaining to The Lankavatarian Book of the Dead will be stored under their own category with this title. It is the fervent wish of this author that this large scale undertaking will slowly come to fruition so that future students and adepts of the Buddhadharma will come to better self-realize the salient significance of the Bardo Realms in their quest for Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.

Tags: Book of the Dead, dharmakaya, Lankavatarian, The Bardo

An evolving work based on a triadic marriage between Daoism, the Sacred Tantra, and Unborn Mind Zen. Its scope? Life is one big Bardo experience…an endless repetition of “in-between” states (six bardo realms) of differentiating consciousness circling round and round the True Body of Reality and Kingdom of the undivided-self: the Dharmakaya. The impetus within the Lankavatarian Book of the Dead is to forever erase the fundamental error, the error that lies in always differentiating the images…the endless flow of perceptions that emanate from within your own mind; perceiving the images to be real the clouded mind misses the markless mark of the clear light of the Dharmakaya. One needs to learn to drink freely from the elixir of Primordial Bodhi in order to break the spell of the diseased differentiating consciousness, one that always metastasizes into sentient forms within the six realms of samsara.

The elixir of Primordial Bodhi restores the innate knowledge and capacity of the original essence—going back to the fundamental, primordial-principle; returning to the root-source. The Dao refers to this as helping the spiritual fetus (bodhichild) reach fruition—incubating and nurturing it for ten months (stages) as the energy is repleted; the spirit is whole again as one escapes from the drowning ocean of misery, the depths of the bardo experience as one awakens to the Diamond Body—a body impervious to the defiled body consciousness and freely propels the spirit to enter its unborn and imperishable spiritual foundation: the unoriginated Dharmakaya. In this sense, the Lankavatarian Book of the Dead is a trial run, a dress-rehearsal if you will, before the Great Bardo of Re-becoming comes knocking at the door.

Tags: Diamond Body, images, Primordial Bodhi, Unborn Mind Zen