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I am very excited for this new series, this post gave me a lot of advice with regards to my own practice, so now i ask in an effort to clarify.
My meditations have reached a point where I am not sure what to do. Sometimes, I wonder if i should first build up concentration (by meditation) and then from a height of concentration, attempt to forgo all impediments. Other times, I am able to seemingly remain still, not clinging or grasping at any passing thought. When this occurs I sometimes wonder if perhaps there is no need to build up to a specific state of concentration, and instead simply should rest in this peaceful and serene state of mind.
I would say, being completely honest with myself. The first sign, provided by John of the Cross, has been experienced. There was a time where meditation would result in a growth, an expansion within and the accompanying insights really transformed my world view. The second sign, has also been experienced in that before, there was this constant tug of war within my mind. I could feel the mind attempting to artificially create an “absolute” to “bond” with. Over time however, this has stopped and now those fleeting and ignorant thoughts, born of delusion, have ceased. It has reached a point where there are no delusional thoughts that bounce around, especially with regards to duality. There are only thoughts as pertaining to the Dharma, such as a thought about a concept of the dharma and the way it relates to a current experience.
I took this as a sign of good progress, but as John of the Cross pointed out, it also came at a time where seemingly I have stopped making great leaps in growth. I am able to meditate for long periods of time, without any major effort. Is now the time to attempt this intuitive, internal contemplation? Or should I continue with concentration meditation at the beginning of my sessions and then afterwards attempt to rest, clear of all phenomenal outflows?
At the moment, it seems my meditations mainly consist of me not grasping or clinging to any notion whatsoever, having fully realized that all appearances that are perceived through sensory consciousness are empty and without self-nature; in this i mean that they are inadequate representations of the absolute and there is no internal drive to cling to them, in fact there is a drive to let them go and not cling to the slightest of delusional thought regarding the current experience.
My problem lies that I do not know if this is sitting in that void-space wherein you said quietism leads, however it feels like attempting to build up concentration feels a little wasted because by remaining prior to the breath and staying there, aside from the sensations associated with bliss, rapture, and equanimity. I do not feel the struggle to maintain the concentration and in some ways I cannot tell if my concentration was lacking to the point that this was needed or if i could skip this and attempt to cultivate this intuitive contemplation.
Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to articulate my question as best as possible. Looking forward to your response. I have read practically everything on this blog, it has been an incredible support throughout my practice as well as a humbling and continuous reminder of the journey ahead, the big picture and the goal of buddhahood.
Many thanks for the reply.
I suggest for the present that you continue in your present meditations. As this series progresses, if you feel that something resonates, then attempt gradually the Infused-Contemplation. Trust me, if it begins to click then the discursive meditations/concentrations will subside by themselves.
Kind regards,
Vajragoni
Thank you so much for your swift response! I will take your advice and continue on as I have been. I look forward to this series and hope it helps with my cultivation of this intuitive contemplation.
Thanks again. Regards, Mr.Nobody.